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  “So, yeah, that’s the deal. I’m in a bind.”

  I also realized that I could help with Olivia. I may not be a nurse, but I could help.

  “Is there a brush or comb in here?” I asked the nurse and she shrugged. There was no help there, so I walked to Olivia’s dresser and sure enough, there was a brush, comb, a flat iron; all the same stuff I had. There were also several three-ring binders and each of them had neatly printed labels on them that read ‘House To Do List’.

  That could be helpful. Olivia had overseen this place before she was shot. Maybe there were things on her list I could get done.

  I’d have to dig into those House To Do Binders when I had a minute.

  I found a spot next to Olivia and took a section of her pretty blonde hair in my hand. I had no idea when the last time her hair had been brushed or styled. I’m sure the current nurse hadn’t done it. I was careful not to tug. I worked through her hair slowly, lock by lock.

  “I saw your flat iron, maybe I’ll do that tomorrow? Your hair is spectacular. I always wondered what it would be like to be a blonde!” I chatted with this sleeping beauty, this Sunflower, as Sarge had called her.

  She didn’t move so much as an eyelash but the sun from the window caught a lock of her hair that I’d placed on her shoulder.

  It sparkled.

  7

  Maddox

  Something about Tracy Plumb had me more agitated than normal. I didn’t want her here. I didn’t want anyone here.

  People got in the way of what I needed to do.

  I went back to what I’d learned about Jonesy C., the newly freed Hawk. I needed his real name.

  I dialed Benz. He’d be the fastest way to find out someone’s record. His old lady was a cop and she did us favors. I needed a favor.

  “Hey Maddox, it was good to see you last night. Let’s not make is such a fucking rarity.”

  “No promises. For now though, I need you to find a name and a record for me.”

  “I’ll do what I can.”

  I described Jonesy C’s skinny ass and greasy face to him.

  “He’s flown under my radar because he was in the joint.”

  “Gotcha. You coming to the club tonight? We’ve got Church.”

  “Mandatory?” I didn’t give two shits about most votes right now. Unless it was important, I was staying away.

  “No, just a probie vote.”

  “Then no. I’m sitting with Olivia.” I could say that whether it was true or not. No one questioned it. No one dared. They all knew my sister had paid for our beef with The Hawks. They all were trying to prove it with me. And none of them would force me to do shit I couldn’t do right now, maybe ever. Until I had gotten my payback.

  I needed to check on Olivia. I hadn’t seen her today. If my Dad and I agreed on nothing else, it was that she wouldn’t be alone, ever. It haunted me to think of her by herself.

  I walked downstairs to her room. So far, no sign of Tracy Plumb. That was a relief.

  Relief too soon, however. I was about to walk in to check on Olivia when I stopped dead in my tracks.

  There she was, Tracy Plumb, sitting at Olivia’s bedside. She was brushing her hair. The sight nearly knocked me over.

  In all the months of sitting with her, holding her hand, wishing that I could have taken that bullet for her, I’d never thought to brush her hair.

  That’s just not what brothers did. I’d been more apt to pull it, growing up. But there was Tracy Plumb, chatting on about something, softly, and running a hairbrush through my baby sister’s still pretty blonde hair.

  I was paralyzed myself for a second, rooted to the spot. Dad and I didn’t have a clue about women, what they’d need or want. My Mom stepped up in a million ways for my Dad, and of course Olivia did too, for all of us.

  Seeing Tracy offer this care brought a rush of tears I wanted to shed. I wiped them away, and instead I let the anger, at myself, flow. I’d failed Olivia in the biggest and smallest ways.

  I took a step backward, quietly, and then another. I didn’t want to interrupt this for my sister. I didn’t want to ruin it.

  Even though I wanted nothing more than to kick Tracy Plumb out of here today, this afternoon I couldn’t do it. She was offering kindness, or care, or a woman’s touch that Dad and I couldn’t. It was a stark reminder of where Dad and I fell short.

  I walked back to my rooms upstairs.

  I shouldn’t be around other humans right now. Other humans? What a joke. I hadn’t felt human since Olivia was shot.

  I sat down at the desk in the den and looked up at the photos on the wall again: the crime scene, The Hawks I could ID, a map of Port Az and surrounding towns.

  None of it was helping Olivia. I put my head down on my desk. I wasn’t sure the last time I had slept. Eating, sleeping, fucking – none of it was interesting to me.

  I lived my life in two colors: the gray of my day-to-day life was only interrupted by white-hot blinding rage.

  Both of those colors gave way to exhaustion and I slept where I sat in the middle of a sunny afternoon in Texas.

  My shades were drawn. I never opened them.

  8

  Tracy

  I’d sat with and assessed Sarge’s needs, I’d cleaned the kitchen, I’d sat with Olivia, and I’d met Fitzie. This had been a busy first day.

  It was late afternoon and thinking of Fitzie reminded me of the manila envelope.

  Shoot! I’d promised to give it to Maddox.

  I wasn’t about getting fired on my first day. Not delivering packages to the boss seemed like a good way to get canned.

  I grabbed the thick envelope and went up the stairs I’d seen Maddox use to get to the third floor. The house was huge, and I had no real lay of the land yet, but I knew I’d figure it out.

  The third floor was darker than the rest of the house, and the house was dark everywhere. It ran the length of the huge house and there were more doors than people by dozens in this place.

  I peaked in a few rooms and saw tarps covering furniture in most places and boxes in others. This part of the house was … dormant. That was the word. While the first and second floor needed a little TLC, this part needed mouth-to-mouth or something.

  There was one last door at the end of the hall. It was slightly open, so I pushed it a bit.

  “Maddox?” I called out. No answer.

  “Mr. Maddox?” Maybe he wanted me to be formal? Still there was no answer.

  I walked further into the room. This was for sure the place. It was a den, and sitting room area, that was clearly being used, unlike the rest of this floor.

  At the desk was Maddox. His head was down, and I could tell by his deep and even breathing that he was asleep. Completely asleep at his desk.

  I couldn’t help but look at him for a moment. He was a hulk of a man, his hair was long and dark blonde, and his beard was out of control too. It was darker. I could see a little of Olivia in his features. His lashes for one were long, and lush, his lips, I could see, despite the beard, were full. I wondered what he looked like without all that hair. I had the urge to reach out and touch it. And I realized that was ridiculous. What I needed to be was quiet.

  Though Sarge was shrunken and in his scooter, I could see he had big hands, long limbs, and broad shoulders. You could see that frame passed down to his son.

  I wanted to find a blanket and a pillow, something, to make this person sleep more comfortably. I was struck by the fact that three people lived in this home, together, but so separately. They were so clearly connected but it appeared they were apart, as far as people could be.

  I put the envelope down on the corner of the desk as quietly as I could. Maddox didn’t stir. I walked out of the room as softly as I could, to remove myself from whatever quiet time this man needed. Then it caught my eye: a board of faces, mug shots, dates, and some scribbling I couldn’t make out. I moved forward to see this strange tapestry of people. Bikers, I guessed. I wondered how they were all connected and
why Maddox would have this display in his living space. I could see they were all Devil’s Hawks. That logo was also pinned to the wall.

  But what did that mean? I knew Maddox was a Dark Saint. What was he…?

  “Weren’t you told not to come up here?”

  It was a roar not a question and it came from behind me.

  I whirled around and there he was, Maddox, fully awake, fully enraged, and taking two large steps toward me.

  “I’m sorry. I was, it was just that…” I was trying to back away, and get to the door. I had royally pissed off Samuel Houston Maddox Junior and it wasn’t a good feeling.

  “I don’t fucking care about what you were thinking. This is my private area and it’s off limits to you, my father, and everyone else.”

  I nodded and kept backing out. Unfortunately I had no concept of furniture placement in this place and I backed right over a footstool. I went flying backward and I swear my head cracked on the wood floor.

  “Ooph.” That was approximately the noise I uttered. Maddox stopped in his tracks and I scrambled to get up.

  “Be careful,” he said and it was another command I’d clearly have a hard time obeying.

  “I brought you that envelope. I won’t bother you again.”

  Maddox wanted me out of there just as badly as I wanted to BE out of there. He scared the shit out of me and I’d embarrassed myself but good.

  This time I turned my back to him and ran out. I wasn’t going to stand around any longer for him to yell at me or scare me.

  I took the steps as fast as I could and closed the door to the back stairs behind me. I kept going through the kitchen and into the bedroom that Sarge had suggested.

  My suitcase sat in the corner, unpacked. The room itself I’d left as an off-hours project. My own comfort was not a priority. My job was. And I’d likely done enough damage to get fired in the last few minutes.

  Shit. I shouldn’t have gone up there. But I’d been legitimately worried that the package from Fitzie was urgent. I clearly chose the worst of the two options.

  I felt hot tears sting my eyes and I blinked them back. I heard a familiar clanking sound and Bella was there, looking at me with concern.

  “Hi, girl.”

  This was a lot of money, it was a free place to live, and at least Olivia and Sarge needed me. Of that I was totally sure. And Bella, she liked me.

  I’d dealt with rabid dogs and pits trained to fight. I could handle Maddox, damn it!

  I shored up my spine and stood up from the bed.

  Damn it. I was going to be fine. I felt a throbbing on the back of my head. I knew a lump was rising. Shit.

  I walked back into the kitchen to get some ice for it.

  I heard a buzzing; it was my phone. A text from Ted.

  “Dinner after work?” It read.

  I thought that I’d work all night here, but after the encounter with Maddox, I realized it was time to call it a day.

  I needed the job at The Castle, but I also had a life. Dinner with Ted sounded good.

  “Okay. I’ll need an hour and a half.”

  “See you then. Dress nice.”

  I could have done without that last bit. I had packed exactly three nice dresses, simple, and easy to carry. This was a jeans and t-shirt job. Just like Ruff Life.

  I was relieved I had a reason to go out though.

  I needed out of this place for the evening. Even if a date was the last thing on my list, staying here, after my emotional first day, was less appealing. I went to my suitcase and rummaged through it.

  A shower, a change of clothes, and a few hours of my old life would help calm my nerves.

  I got ready fast and chose my simple black sleeveless dress, sandals, and a big scarf. Texas was hot as hell, most of the time, but when the sun went down, I was usually freezing.

  I added some red lipstick and wore my hair down. I had blown it into soft curls; my Jackie O look that I knew Ted and his mother liked. I was in the mood for zero conflict, so I did what I could.

  Before I left I checked in on Olivia. Her night nurse was there.

  “Everything good here?” I asked. This nurse was a little nicer and cracked a smile.

  I’d prepared a meal in a crockpot for Sarge. It was basic again, but until I could get to the store tomorrow it would do. I put it on a tray and headed into his room. Balancing on my sandals wasn’t my favorite; I should have thought that out a little. But it was what it was.

  “Sarge, I’ve got dinner for you!” And there was Sarge in his chair. He greeted me with a smile and I had to admit it softened me toward the entire day.

  He was a good man and easy to like.

  “Roast beef, carrots, potatoes sound good?” I brought the tray into the room.

  “Sounds spectacular. I usually order a pizza! And speaking of spectacular, look at you!”

  “Oh, what? This?” I blushed. I also noticed movement in the corner and out of the shadows stepped Maddox.

  “You look lovely. I realize that’s not politically correct,” Sarge continued but I was on edge the second I realized Maddox was there too.

  “Don’t worry about it, Sarge, I won’t hold it against you. And thank you. Uh, Mr. Maddox, there’s more in the kitchen, plenty. Would you like me to serve you a plate before I go?”

  “Where are you going?” Maddox asked me, as if it was his right to know.

  “I’ve got plans.”

  He made me feel instantly guarded and defensive.

  “Of course you do! And you should! I’d figure half the young men in Texas would be asking you out,” Sarge interjected and alleviated of the awkwardness that I was feeling.

  I was also feeling Maddox’s eyes run up and down me. Was he judging me? My clothes? I felt a heat rise that was confusing. I only hoped my face wasn’t as flushed as it felt. Samuel Maddox Junior had me confused and off-kilter like no other human on the planet. His intensity literally made me feel clumsy. I focused on Sarge.

  “Half the men in Texas? No, but a good third of ‘em.”

  I’d decided to ignore the way Maddox was staring but thankfully the easy relationship that was developing with Sarge gave me something to do.

  “How’s your head?” Maddox asked, and I was yet again faced with the prospect of embarrassment around this man.

  “It’s hard, so I’m good.”

  “What? What are you talking about Maddox?” Sarge asked and it was clear that it didn’t take much for these two to be on opposite sides of things.

  “He scared me half to death, startled me. I thought a bear had broken in here! Anyway, I tripped over my own feet because of it. No big thing. Only a bump.”

  I busied myself filling Sarge’s glass and making sure he had what he needed.

  “Jesus, you oaf. Try not to scare another person away from here. I’m sorry Tracy, he’s like that.”

  Maddox made some sort of growling noise.

  “I’m used to hairy and untrained, remember? Well. If you’re all set?”

  Sarge laughed and it diffused the issue somewhat. I just wanted out of there.

  “Your old man picking you up?”

  “No, uh, old man? If you mean my fiancé, no. I sold my car recently to save for our wedding and he’s super busy so I’m going to walk to the bus stop. Better get to it.”

  I was rambling. It wasn’t pretty.

  “I don’t like that, not at all. He should come get you,” Sarge said and I could see Maddox seem to lose interest in the details of my transportation.

  “It’s fine. I’m the one who’s supposed to be nagging you. I’ll come get your tray when I get home.”

  “Thank you, Tracy, for everything.”

  Sarge dug into the meal and I was out of there. Mercifully.

  I made my way through the house and out the door.

  I needed air, space, and a break from the all-encompassing new job that had my head lumpy and my emotions spinning.

  9

  Maddox

  “I r
ealize you’re trying to punish yourself for Olivia, but could you stop punishing her and me?”

  “What?”

  My Dad was calmly eating his food, which smelled delicious. And though I would never admit it, I was absolutely going to that kitchen to get some later.

  Meanwhile, my Dad had decided now was a good time to lecture me.

  “If you drive that sweet girl away, you’re hurting all of us. And I may deserve it, but Olivia does not.”

  “Olivia has a nurse.”

  “Olivia deserves a friend, a nice house, and a Dad around as long as I can be. For the first time in a while, thanks to one day with that gal, Tracy, things were positive and nice in this mess.”

  “She was in my den.”

  “So the fuck what? She is the sweetest person we’ve had in this house since Olivia was born and I am NOT going to have you scare her away. No matter what guilt bullshit you’re carrying around. God, this is good.”

  Dad put another fork into the roast Tracy Plumb had served.

  Something was bothering me, to the point where I had to double check with my Dad.

  “Did she say she’s going to walk and take the bus?”

  I had tried to ignore that. But it was sticking in my gut. It was getting dark. This wasn’t my responsibility or problem to deal with. Except I kept thinking about her trekking alone down our drive, and into the night.

  “Yeah, how about that bullshit. No car, sells it to pay for a wedding? And what kind of pussy lets his woman walk around at night alone? An asshole in my book.”

  Sarge wasn’t one to mince words. He was also old-fashioned as hell when it came to women. Most of the women I knew could handle themselves in tough spots. I’d seen it repeatedly with the women of The Dark Saints.

  I’m sure this Tracy Plumb would be fine. But still. I kept envisioning her alone and it didn’t sit right.

  Dad was happy with his food and his shows and clearly happy to be telling me how to act around Tracy Plumb.

  I felt like shit. Tracy had just been delivering the stuff the club needed today. As the treasurer of the MC, I need paperwork. I couldn’t keep an eye on our money without it.