Kellan Read online

  But this night, this moment, I was telling the truth. I saw him watching me from the other side of the bar. He kept his arm draped casually over his knee. I wanted nothing more than to hold his gaze and make him feel special. Because there was something special about him too. He had an air of raw power about him that made every other man in the room seem like boys. They were here to drink. To party. To get lucky. They could fantasize that it would be with me. But he seemed to see right through me. A smirk lifted the corner of his perfect, full mouth and something about it made my body hum.

  It meant that as soon as my set was over, I needed to get the hell out of here and fast. But who was I kidding? The instant he came out the back door and saw me, I knew it was already too late to run. I couldn’t let the night pass without knowing who he was.

  Kellan. The second he said his name it echoed through me, searing me. Kellan. He was strong and hard beneath my fingertips. My touch affected him. I could see it in the tiny flicker at the corner of his eyes and feel it as his muscles tensed.

  I looked at him. Really looked at him. He had thick, wavy brown hair that hung to his shoulders. I don’t know what made me do it, but I reached up and brushed a lock behind his ear. He worked the muscles of his strong, square jaw and his green eyes flashed dark. He wore a plain black t-shirt stretched over hard muscles and tight abs. He stood before me still and strong as a stone wall. My breath caught in my throat as he licked his lips.

  “You want to grab a drink?” he said. It took a moment for his words to register in my brain. Whatever happened between us, it seemed like the world stopped and everything fell away. It was him and everything about him. He seemed to command the space around him and pull me into his orbit. I took a step back. I knew if I wasn’t careful, he could be exactly the kind of guy who’d make me lose control. But, oh, I wanted to.

  I wrapped my arms across my chest and kicked the plank of the boardwalk. “Sure,” I said, except I wanted to get as far away from The Sand Bar as possible. I hated sticking around after a set. There were always too many people, each of them wanting something from me even after I felt I’d already given them my soul on that stage. But it never seemed to be enough. When I sang my last note, the fantasy ended. Those were the rules. But this guy seemed hell-bent on breaking them. I knew I wanted to let him. I turned and put a hand on the railing; Kellan stepped around me and started to climb the stairs back up to the bar.

  “On second thought,” I blurted. “I think I’d rather take a walk.”

  He turned and smiled, flashing a row of straight white teeth. “Even better,” he said.

  I reached down and slid off my heels, letting my bare toes sink into the cool sand as I stepped off the boardwalk. I waited, expecting Kellan to do the same, but he didn’t. I smiled and shrugged; he was about to get those slick leather boots full of sand but he didn’t seem to care.

  “This way,” I said, leading him away from the crowd gathering near the bonfire. I waved and nodded as a few catcalls and cheers were sent my way. Kellan stiffened next to me, his fists clenched at his sides.

  “Comes with the territory,” I said. “These guys are pretty much harmless around here.” The instant I said it, I realized the absurdity of it. Here I was walking off into the dark with a guy I didn’t know. He was tall and broad and looked built for sin and danger. But something buzzed between us and the thought of being anywhere else made my heart squeeze and the air leave my lungs.

  I led him to the public boat launch just a few hundred yards away from the back porch of The Sand Bar. The bonfire was still in plain sight and anyone looking hard enough would see us at the dock. I sat on the edge of it and tossed my shoes behind me. I dipped my bare toes in the cool water. Kellan hesitated a moment then sat down beside me. He sat sideways, facing me, with one leg bent at the knee and the other stretched behind me.

  What the hell was I doing here with this guy? I let everyone think I was reckless when they watched me on stage. But that was just the show I gave them. I didn’t take these kinds of chances. I didn’t walk off with random hookups in the middle of the night. What in the hell was I thinking?

  The full moon bathed Kellan in shadows and blue. My heart thundered in my chest and I became aware of the physical space between us. He was too close. He wasn’t close enough. I saw his own furious pulse beat in a tiny vein near his temple and the rise and fall of his broad chest.

  He was here for one reason and so was I. I wanted him. Plain and simple. It was wild and reckless and it meant that at least for now, I was everything everyone thought I was. There were a thousand reasons this was a bad idea. I saw something cross Kellan’s face. I didn’t know him. He could be thinking a million things, but as his eyes darted over my face and lower down, I just knew he thought the same thing I did. Whatever reasons we had for making better choices, none of them mattered.

  We moved together. I leaned toward him, pressing my palms flat on the dock. He was so big, he only needed to cock his head to the side and his lips met mine. A shock of heat rushed through me as his tongue darted past my lips. He reached up and put a gentle but firm hand at the center of my back, pulling me even closer. I kept my hands flat on the rough wood, trying to tether myself to something real. Because this wasn’t. It couldn’t be. He tasted too good. His lips felt like heaven as he leaned in deep and feathered his tongue down the column of my throat.

  I knew I should stop. This was an indulgence I shouldn’t take. This guy was all kinds of wrong for me. He had bad boy written all over him. He tried to cover, but I’d seen him eye fuck me through my whole set, just like every other guy in the bar. Except, God. He wasn’t like any of them. None of them had me weak in the knees. Only he made my heart pound like this. Arousal coursed through me, settling low in my belly. He had me wet and quivering and all he’d done was kiss me and run his hand down the small of my back.

  “Mallory,” he whispered in my ear, his voice ragged with lust. “Let’s go somewhere.”

  “No,” I gasped. “Here. I want you here.”

  I couldn’t believe I was saying it. Couldn’t believe I wanted it. But I did. More than anything. I wanted to tear off my clothes and let him do all the wicked things I just knew he would. He was skillful with his tongue as he drank me in and I shuddered to imagine what it would feel like if I spread my legs for him. The second I thought it, I knew it needed to happen. My clothes seemed to burn as Kellan brought his hand up and cupped my breast.

  I tried to be cool, controlled, but this guy made it impossible. My nipples ached with pleasure as he flicked his thumb inside my bra. I reached out and pulled his t-shirt out of his pants and fumbled with his belt buckle.

  “Mallory,” he moaned against my lips. “Not here.”

  He was right, of course. We sat on a public dock, out in the open. There was no one around except a hundred people just down the beach. At any moment, someone could walk by. The danger of that thrilled me as much as it shocked me.

  Kellan stood and brought me with him, circling his powerful arms around me. I kept my lips locked with his, struggling to drink him in, to breathe, to touch. We staggered together back toward the pavement. Before I knew it, Kellan had me up against the side of the boat house. Neither of us could collect ourselves long enough to take even another step. I needed him now. I felt like I’d die without him.

  He reached down and flicked the button on his fly. I slid my hands into his waistband. Cradling the back of my head with one hand, he used the other to lift my shirt and free my breast. I moaned as the air hit my nipple.

  “Fuck,” he whispered to me as my breast pebbled for him and he pressed his thumb against it. I gasped as I got my hand between his legs and stroked his thick, long cock. God. He was huge. My panties were soaked and in another second, he would be able to feel just how much I wanted him.

  He pressed his forehead against mine. “Shit,” he whispered. “I don’t have anything.”

  It took a moment for his words to penetrate the lust-filled fog of my
brain. I wanted to say it didn’t matter. The thought of feeling him skin on skin made my blood simmer and my heart race. But I was feeling reckless, not stupid. But, shit. My purse was all the way back at the bar and I knew if we went back for it, we’d both come to our senses all the way.

  I sucked in a breath and found the strength to pull away long enough to meet his eyes. A slow smile spread across his handsome face and nearly melted me from the inside out.

  “Who are you?” I asked. I hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

  His laugh was low, sultry and sent a fresh flash of heat coursing through me. “I was just thinking about asking you the same thing.”

  Instead of answering, I went up on my tiptoes, threaded my fingers through his hair and brought his head back down so I could keep kissing him. God. He felt so good. It would be so easy. Just this once, I could pretend to be the girl everyone thought I was. I could be reckless and wanton. I was sick of trying to hold on so tight. Kellan, whoever he was, might be just the guy to help me lose control, if only for one night.

  He moaned against me and spanned his hands around my waist. I felt his heart beat fast I pressed my chest against his. I slid my hands back down and circled his giant dick with my thumb and forefinger. I wanted to go to my knees in front of him. The thought of it made me even slicker with desire. Shameless. Reckless. Out of control. It would feel so good to just let go.

  “Mallory.” He whispered my name against the top of my head and I liked the sound of it. His voice was deep and made my whole body vibrate. I took a small step back and met his eyes. His flashed with desire and a question. He said nothing and yet I understood what he wanted to know.

  Is this what you want? Are you sure?

  God, yes. Yes! I took another step back and pressed my shoulders against the side of the boathouse. Kellan ran a thumb across his lips right where I’d kissed him. He could taste me just like I could taste him. Now, I wanted to drown in him. He looked around to make sure we were truly concealed. Holy fuck, we were going to do it. Right here. Right now. I shuddered with lust, fumbling with the zipper on my leather pants. I only wished I’d gone with a dress so he could bend me over and lift the skirt. But this might work just as well.

  Kellan crossed the distance between us and gathered my wrists in one, strong hand. He pinned my arms above my head against the side of the building. He slid his other hand down the front of my pants and found my sensitive little bud in one skillful maneuver. I gasped and shook as he circled his thumb around my clit and felt the rush of juices between my legs.

  “Mallory.” He whispered my name again and I wished he wouldn’t. I didn’t want to be Mallory. I didn’t want to be anyone. I just wanted to feel, to stop pretending.

  He kept my wrists pinned above my head as he slid my pants down, dragging my panties with them. He worked my swollen sex with those expert fingers of his. A few seconds of that and he had me moaning and writhing against his hand. He meant to bring me to a climax just like that. But oh, I wanted him inside me. I needed it. Craved it. Would die without it. I knew nothing about this man but thanked God he was cautious, where I would have been wild. We’d brought no protection.

  He had me completely under his control. Every alarm bell should have rung in me. Instead, I just wanted him to keep on touching me. I strained against my clothes, wishing I could rip them off. I would have dropped to the ground and rutted with him like some feral thing. In that moment, it’s what I was.

  Just as I felt the first tingling wave of pleasure, blinding white light pierced through me. Kellan froze. He let go of my hands and spread his arms wide, shielding me from the glare of headlights and any prying eyes behind us. My mouth went dry and I froze for just an instant. He gave me a slow nod. I reached down with shaking fingers and carefully zipped his fly and then my own.

  “Mallory!” A voice cut through the air. Kellan turned and faced the intruder. My heart sank as I let out a slow breath. Kellan stepped forward but kept a hand on my arm, tucking me behind him with a protective posture.

  “It’s all right,” I said, stepping around him. “It’s just my ride.”

  Justin cut the lights and poked his head out of the driver’s side window. “You need to get back,” he said, fixing his blue eyes on Kellan. Kellan turned to me, his brows knit in a deep scowl.

  “That’s your guitar player?” he said, his voice low with sarcasm and a little bit of justified anger.

  I nodded. “He’s my . . . he’s just . . . yeah. I’m sorry,” I said. And I was. From the hard look he gave me, I knew he didn’t believe me. Why would he? A second ago, I couldn’t get enough of him. Now, I was just some cock tease to him.

  “Just go back to the bar,” I called to Justin. “I can walk back on my own.”

  “I need you to come with me,” Justin said. What the hell? I shot him a wide-eyed stare and jutted my chin forward. To his credit, Justin looked aptly miserable and embarrassed at having interrupted us. But Kellan didn’t know him as I did and I figured to him, Justin just looked smug. “Mal, it’s Ned.”

  My heart dropped and cold fingers of ice skittered across my spine. Justin wasn’t kidding. I saw the sincerity and concern in his eyes.

  “I can take her home,” Kellan said, still keeping his body between me and Justin.

  “No!” My answer came out harder and louder than I meant. I stepped around Kellan and put my hands up, gesturing for him not to follow. “I really am sorry. This can’t wait.”

  I turned and ran toward Justin’s car. He pressed the button and the lock on the passenger door clicked open. I reached for the handle but Kellan got there first. He opened the door for me like a perfect gentleman. I almost laughed at the absurdity of the gesture until I saw his face and realized he was dead serious.

  “Who are you?” I said before I could really think.

  “I’d like to see you again,” he said as I slid slowly into the passenger seat. From the corner of my eye, I could see Justin staring straight ahead as if he were trying to will himself invisible for this.

  “I . . . uh . . .” As bold as I’d been just a few minutes ago, now my armor had gone back up and I felt foolish for what I’d almost let happen. He couldn’t know. Why would Kellan think I was anything other than some whore rocker chick he’d picked up in a bar?

  “We play The Sand Bar the last Friday of every month through September,” Justin answered, his voice clipped and downright rude. He revved the car engine and Kellan shut the door. He took a step back and lifted his arms, giving me a “hands off” gesture. But his eyes told a different story. They glinted in the moonlight, still full of dark desire. He flicked them over me and just that tiny movement sent a flare of lust straight through me.

  But before I could say anything or even give him a look back, Justin pressed his foot to the floor and jerked the wheel hard, squealing the tires as we drove off.

  I couldn’t even bring myself to look back. I didn’t need to. I could feel Kellan’s eyes all over me still. Just like my skin still burned from his touch.

  Chapter Three

  “Don’t,” I said to Justin as he hit the freeway on-ramp. He took the turn so hard I had to grab on to the dashboard to keep from sliding over toward him. My seatbelt went taut and pressed me back against the seat.

  “I’m not going to say shit,” Justin said. “You’re a big girl, Mal.”

  I blew a breath out hard to lift a lock of hair from my eyes. “No. You’re just going to drive like a damn maniac and glare at me all the way home.”

  “Let’s just focus on the shit in front of us, okay?” he said. “Aren’t you going to ask me what the hell’s going on with Ned?”

  I ran a hand across my face. That familiar pit formed in my stomach at the mention of Ned. My father. My cross to bear.

  “Who called? Gus over at the bowling alley? Daisy at B.W.’s? Rick at The Shires?”

  Justin shrugged. “Daisy.”

  “Great.” I pressed my thumb against my forehead. “Third time’s the c
harm, it seems. Any chance I can get him out of there without Daisy calling the cops? She pretty much said she’d have to the last time.”

  Justin shook his head. “First of all, we will get him out of there. You think I’m letting you head in there alone? Daisy said he took a swing at two other customers and started groping the waitress.”

  I punched the window with the side of my fist. “You know, it’s going to go a lot easier if you just drop me off and leave. He probably drove his car there anyway.”

  “Mal, who are you trying to kid? You think I don’t already know what Ned’s like when he gets like this? Jesus. I’ve had as much of a front row seat to his shit show as you have.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut tight. It was easy for Justin to say that. But he was wrong. He’d seen plenty of my father’s drunken escapades. But not even he knew how bad it could really get. My mother had taught me well. Hide. Lie. Make excuses. Never let them see how dark things can go. And all of that I’d learned by the time I was five years old. Twenty years later and I could teach my own master class in covering up for drunk-ass Ned Rhodes.

  “Please?” If Justin wouldn’t listen to my version of reason, I’d go for straight-up begging. “He’s going to take one look at you and lose whatever shred he’s got left of his common sense.”

  “You think I’m afraid of him?” Justin slammed his hand against the steering wheel. We were two miles out from the exit. Five more minutes and we’d be there. “I’d like to see him take a swing at me. Hell, I’m counting on it.”

  Great. This was about to get fifty times more complicated than it needed to.

  “Just knock it off,” I yelled. “I don’t need you swooping in to rescue me, Justin. And as far as my dad goes, I really don’t need to worry about handling you handling my father. None of this . . . including what happened back at the boat launch . . . is any of your damn business.”